Wednesday, July 30, 2008

New "Ragin' Wildfire" Ride at Nashville Shores Soaks Swimmers!

Nashville Tennis Tournament Welcomes Return of Madballs.

Area Cat Knows You Did It.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Problem Vandal Offers Solutions

Local Commuter Winds Up Sitting Next to Blood-Sucking Zombie Again

Monday, January 29, 2007

Global Warming Only Suspect in Old Man Winter Murder

Local Man Bakes World's Largest Brownie

Sunday, January 28, 2007

WKRN Unleashes "Air Assault 2' to Break News

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Photoshop Powerless to Digitally Manipulate 'Skinny' Michael Moore

Area Man Acknowledges One Month Anniversary with Beard

FBI Updates Most Wanted List

NASA: Pluto Remains on Suicide Watch

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Local Tick Confesses To Biting Governor Bredesen, Turns Self In

A western deer tick turned himself in late this afternoon after admitting he was the one that bit Governor Bredesen causing his serious health condition. "I kept watching all the developments on the news. I was so scared! When I heard the Governor was getting better and finally back on the job my guilt sent me straight to the police department." Metro Police Detective Rowly Kenser briefed the media in front of the Criminal Justice Center in downtown Nashville. "I am happy to announce the dangerous blood sucking parasite has confessed to the crime of spreading a tick-borne disease. Tonight he is safely being held behind bars, Judge Alan Cleveland raised the two year old tick's bond to one million dollars due to the severity of the crime, being a flight risk and being a threat to society"
Governor Bredesen's health continues to improve daily. No word yet if he will seek more charges against the tick. Sources inside the jail confirm the troubled tick has become quite attached to his new cell mate, Perry March.

High School Athelete's Impressive Track Record Plays No Role In Recent Employment

Spring Hill's star athelete Brian Ross, 17, is mixing his strict practice schedule with a new work schedule at the Publix off of Highway 31. Ross has taken his track team to state twice and brought home the coveted award in 2004 as a freshman at Spring Hill Acadamy. "I was really quite impressed by his track record." Assistant Supermarket Manager,Ken Blockwell,39, continues. "But I will have to say that never even came up in our recent interview. In Fact, Laura (Bustamante) told me moments after he accepted the part time position about his winning streak at school." When asked about his job performance Blockwell quickly added. "His sacking ability is second to none, and he always offers to take every customers buggy out to their car, and most importantly he adheres to our heavily enforced 'No Running' policy. Heaven forbid one of our employees breaks an egg or bruises a bananna while helping a Publix patron."

Tropical Storm Ernesto Enters U.S. Illegally

Tropical Storm Ernesto, the sneaky storm that continues to brew up tropical trouble on the east coast is under investigation tonight. U.S. Immigration officials announce they have been powerless in keeping the undocumented disturbance out of the United States. President Bush adds. "I appreciate all the hard work Ernesto has mustered up in the past week. It truly is the American spirit to go from a depression to a full scale hurricane!" With no action plan in place to protect the U.S. sea walls pundits think the next few months will be open season for more powerful storms to enter our great land without resistance. Police continue to chase this elusive storm but are strictly prohibitted from asking about its Atlantic origin.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney Gears Up for Reelection

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